Tonight is the night of the Future Winds and I find myself in quite a state. I am struggling to become a healer and everyone around me is in need of healing. I find it so difficult not to want to just give up. I know that Diana is helping me and she is teaching me all that she can in such a short time and I find myself just wanting to give into Darkness.
The Light is always there. The one who teaches me that happens to be the one in the most need of healing. I am not sure exactly of what kind of healing he needs though. He is my husband and the love of my life. The one who teaches me all that I have accomplished in this year and he is needing healing more than ever.
I need the strength to lift him up and make him healthy again. First, no more heart attacks. Second, love and tenderness. Eventually he will be healthy again and I want to help with that.
Cohate becda jhan

I know you are trying. Mine is a difficult case; a strong vessel defeated by Stress and Darkness.

Did I say defeated? I meant ready to kick butt. I will never be defeated!

But I would like the attacks to stop. So the help is appreciated.:)

Hi ya, Mandy! I can only imagine what you might be going through..It would be great sometimes to have the instant knowledge that is required at a given time but unrealistic...If you're going through some of the same stuff in your training as in mine, I can well relate to that feeling of helplessness and wanting to help but not sure as to how...In some areas it seems I make huge strides forward and yet in others, sometimes not even baby steps...quite frustrating...Probably a silly question but do you do any work on balancing your chakras? Each time I do, as prep for entering Otherworld, I seem to have at least one off-kilter each time and I feel the effects on the physical plane. As for giving in to the darkness...I'm starting to realize that I do have a very dark side to me that has to be acknowledged...What I need to do is a find a way, beside my fiction writing, to allow it some free reign...For me, if I allow it to build, it literally explodes and that is not a good thing..but I will learn..if you have any suggestions... A huge hawk or eagle has begun to appear during my forays but won't talk to me - yet..hehehe...I meant to ask about your guide but I don't think I know their name. Gotta go but hope you have an awesome week! Peace Always.

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